July 25, 2012

The Melancholy Truth


Writing fiction is more fun than almost anything.‭  ‬You create a world and fill it with interesting people,‭ ‬then give them adventures.‭  ‬You defeat evil.‭  ‬If you wish,‭ ‬you mangle the bad guy in an original way and reward the good guy ditto.‭  ‬Selling the fiction you write is different,‭ ‬though.‭ 

My local coffee shop sells books written by self-publishing members of a writers‭' ‬club.‭  ‬The shop sells very few.‭  ‬For a while,‭ ‬I read them because I belong to the club.‭  ‬I don't do that anymore‭; ‬the books are their authors‭' ‬pets,‭ ‬and by that I mean dogs.‭  ‬Their owners caress and curry their pets with the computer spell-‭ ‬and grammar-checker,‭ ‬pay expensive trainers to groom their format,‭ ‬prettify them with style and cover,‭ ‬and show them in contests.‭  ‬They seem to know nothing about their chosen breed‭; ‬the genre.

Here's the good news:‭  ‬You can earn a good living from your fiction if you know the difference between fiction,‭ ‬film,‭ ‬journalism,‭ ‬history and memoir‭ (‬which is not necessarily autobiography‭)‬.‭  ‬You can learn the differences.‭  ‬You can get a great high from writing,‭ ‬which is free and neither illegal nor fattening.‭ 

Here's the bad news:‭  ‬Although not all successful fiction is literate,‭ ‬much less literature,‭ ‬you can't make money writing it unless you know the genre,‭ ‬and successful writers do.‭  ‬They have taken the classes,‭ ‬joined the critique groups and attended the conferences.‭  ‬An editor can tell within,‭ ‬say,‭ ‬three paragraphs‭; ‬certainly within the first three pages,‭ ‬whether the work is professional-grade.‭  ‬A man-in-the-street reader may buy the first,‭ ‬but not the second,‭ ‬effort unless it satisfies his demands for‭  ‬believable characters,‭ ‬lucid description of place,‭ ‬scenes with a purpose,‭ ‬and tension inherent in the situation.‭ 

I'll say it again:‭  ‬believable characters,‭ ‬lucid description of place,‭ ‬scenes with a purpose,‭ ‬and tension inherent in the situation.‭  ‬And a story,‭ ‬but that's another topic.

Here's Chapter‭ ‬15‭ ‬of‭ ‬Dead on Dutcher's Mountain.‭  ‬It looks like the bad guy's going to score.‭  



Fifteen
 H illary was stuporous with fatigue and had nothing to do until time for the banquet.‭  ‬She wandered north,‭ ‬uphill from the mine.‭  ‬Game trails led the way.‭  ‬They hugged exposed shoulders of the grade and skirted clearings overhung by pines.‭  ‬Springs stained granite outcrops with emerald moss.‭  ‬Brown ferns‭; ‬twiggy berry canes‭; ‬white clover,‭ ‬still blooming on the southern slopes.‭  ‬She began to see blued distance across ranks of mountains.‭  ‬She saw the ocean’s afternoon fog.‭    ‬She came out at a large clearing paved with fallen,‭ ‬golden grass.‭  ‬A creek trickled at its farthest edge.‭  ‬Here she could rest,‭ ‬maybe sort out her confused feelings.‭  ‬She sat by a fallen tree,‭ ‬lowered herself until the bole became a pillow,‭ ‬dozed.
 

She woke languorously,‭ ‬then,‭ ‬startled,‭ ‬whirled.‭  ‬She was not alone.‭  ‬It wasn’t Earl or Bri,‭ ‬protecting her.‭  ‬It was the yellow,‭ ‬club-headed dog,‭ ‬and it was Karl.‭  ‬He sat apart on her log,‭ ‬abstracted and staring.‭  ‬The stony completeness of it made her a voyeur.‭  

He came to himself.‭  “‬I apologize,‭” ‬he said quietly.‭  “‬Am I disturbing you‭?”  ‬Then briskly and louder,‭ ‬as if he were waking too,‭ “‬Of course I am.‭  ‬I apologize again.‭  ‬Come,‭ ‬Lout.‭”  ‬The dog moved to its master’s feet and sat.‭  ‬He said,‭ “‬In fact,‭ ‬I saw you wander from camp and was concerned.‭  ‬They say there are bears on this mountain.‭”


“You needn’t have bothered.‭”  ‬She sat up and rubbed her stiff neck.‭  “‬Do you know what time it is‭?”
“Almost four.‭”


She stretched,‭ ‬eased her shoulders,‭ ‬stood and stretched again.‭  ‬He watched her move.‭  ‬It made her self-conscious‭; ‬her belly,‭ ‬her breasts.‭  


“Were there many people on today’s tour‭?” ‬she asked,‭ ‬and felt like a dolt at the banality.


‭“‬All the weekend guests except for yourself.‭”


Which left her without a topic and still self-conscious.‭  ‬She fished into her jacket for an M‭ & ‬M.‭  “‬How tall are you‭?”


He was amused.‭  “‬I’m not sure.‭  ‬I stopped keeping track at--six feet,‭ ‬eight inches.‭”


“You’re taller than that.‭”


“Now,‭ ‬yes.‭  ‬And you‭?”


“Five-feet two.‭”  ‬The shadow of her head stretched level against his shoulder‭; ‬a hypnotic image.‭  ‬Watching it she said,‭ “‬You got to me this morning with your talk about personal power.‭  ‬A couple of times I wondered about my own motives.‭”


He nodded.‭  “‬That’s interesting.‭”  ‬He produced a cigar and made a long ceremony of getting it cut and lit.‭  “‬You carry yourself differently this afternoon.‭”


“I’m tired and alone.‭  ‬At any rate,‭ ‬I thought I was.‭”


“Do you hide so much from others‭?”


She shrugged and half-turned toward the fog bank.‭  “‬I’m just lying low.‭  ‬I tire easily.‭”


“I saw your illness in your eyes.‭  ‬Is it a disease from Mexico‭?”


She nodded.‭  “‬A specialty of the tropics.‭  ‬I suppose I may also be hiding from more commitment,‭ ‬but who knows‭?”


“I see.‭”  ‬He checked the tip of his cigar.‭  “‬Incidentally,‭ ‬I delivered your film into the slot on the newspaper’s office door.‭”


“Thanks.‭”


“Does it give you a sense of destiny‭?  ‬Such talent with your camera‭?”


She shrugged.‭  “‬It’s an option beyond writing.‭  ‬Why‭?”


“Casual talk.‭”


She shrugged again,‭ ‬becoming uneasy,‭ ‬aware that he wanted something and not sure that she wouldn’t give it.‭  “‬More casual talk about personal things,‭” ‬she said.‭  “‬What are you about,‭ ‬Karl‭?  ‬Are you ambitious‭?  ‬Do you have a secret passion‭?  ‬What was all that stuff you spouted over breakfast‭?  ‬What about women‭?  ‬Do you trust us‭?  ‬Do you like us‭?  ‬Are you married‭?”


Laughing,‭ “‬No.‭  ‬Never married.‭”


“Do you like women‭?”


“Isn’t it obvious‭?”


“Not exactly.‭”


“Perhaps I am cautious.‭  ‬Many women want one’s power.‭  ‬That sort of woman does not interest me.‭”


“Your power‭?”


“Is my phrase awkward‭?”


“You mean charisma.‭  ‬Charisma is innate.‭  ‬It’s not transmittable.‭”


“Oh.‭”


She dug out another M‭ & ‬M.‭  “‬Maybe you’re right.‭”  ‬She squinted unnecessarily toward the lowering sun.‭  “‬I wonder if it’s cocktail time.‭”


Karl chuckled.‭  “‬Yes.‭”  ‬He unfolded his height and produced a hip flask.


She sipped and tasted juniper.‭  “‬Tangueray‭?”


“Yes.‭”


They moved off companionably,‭ ‬passing his flask and making their way through increasingly dense shrubs of browning azaleas.‭  ‬Lout scouted ahead.


‭“‬Why do you romance me,‭ ‬Karl‭?”


“I want you to want me.‭  ‬I want to bring you to the edge.‭  ‬To teach you...‭”


“Don’t tell me‭; ‬ecstasy.‭”


“Even so,‭ ‬then.‭  ‬Ecstasy.‭”


“I’m already at the edge,‭ ‬but not of ecstasy.‭  ‬And for different reasons.‭  ‬You don’t know me.‭  ‬You misunderstand me.‭”


“I disagree.‭”


They walked,‭ ‬and Hillary’s head began a melodic buzz.‭  


They were halted by shrubs and could go no farther.‭  ‬Voerst cast about,‭ ‬then lifted her like a child and set her down beyond the blockage.‭  ‬He stepped over it without comment,‭ ‬but Hillary’s ribs kept the feel of his long fingers on her back.‭  


After a while he said,‭ “‬You can’t have enjoyed her personally,‭ ‬your sister-in-law.‭”


“What makes you say that‭?”


“She was apparently content to keep house.‭  ‬For a banker,‭ ‬by his profession a convention-keeper.‭”


“I told you,‭ ‬Karl,‭ ‬you misunderstand me.‭  ‬The conventional banker is my brother.‭  ‬We’re cast from the same mold.‭”


“But not you and his wife.‭”  


They walked on,‭ ‬entering the soft shadow of the mountain.‭  


Karl said,‭ “‬Incidentally,‭ ‬I give your brother credit.‭  ‬His participation package was quite original.‭  ‬He is made now.‭  ‬Did you know it‭?”


Hillary stopped,‭ ‬surprised.‭  “‬How do you know that‭?  ‬You just got here.‭”


“Don’t underestimate my position within the corporation,‭ ‬Hillary.‭”  ‬He moved closer,‭ ‬his presence intimate and powerful.‭  ‬His body took up her field of vision.‭  ‬His low voice took all her attention.‭  “‬Never underestimate me,‭ ‬Hillary.‭  ‬When I speak of power,‭ ‬or ecstasy,‭ ‬I know.‭”


She raised her eyes across the expanse of his tattersal shirt and up the column of his throat to his mouth and the contained expression of his eyes.‭  ‬His hair floated along his shoulders as gold as the grass in the meadow.‭ 
“You’re a curious animal,‭ ‬Karl.‭  ‬You’d take some getting used to.‭”


“It’s time you began.‭”  


He lifted and held her close for a full,‭ ‬lazy kiss.‭  ‬It didn’t remain lazy.‭  ‬Amazed and confounded by her own intensity,‭ ‬Hillary wrapped her arms across his heavy shoulders so tightly that her breasts against him were a demand,‭ ‬her pelvis and thighs integral to his chest and belly.‭  ‬She moaned‭; ‬she clung.‭  ‬She drew in the scent of his skin,‭ ‬the heavy structure of his bones,‭ ‬the warmth of his meat.‭  


It took the impossible to part them‭; ‬a car engine started as close as next door.‭  ‬Karl groaned,‭ ‬his eyes closed.‭  ‬His hands trailed up her thighs,‭ ‬then cupped her hips against his adamant crotch so that she hung avid against the only real thing,‭ ‬the only real act.‭  ‬She could not look him in the face.‭  ‬She could not push herself away.‭  ‬She could not breathe.


But Lout was mad,‭ ‬howling and throwing himself against impenetrable undergrowth,‭ ‬and there was simply nowhere within miles for a vehicle to drive.‭  


They turned toward the sound.‭  ‬At the farther edge of a slope the ground fell steeply,‭ ‬revealing only the tips of very tall trees and the blue of a gulf between mountains.‭  ‬Bushes swayed.‭  ‬Hillary thought she saw a silver fender.‭  ‬By the time they arrived at the spot,‭ ‬the sound had died.‭  ‬They stood on the lip of the void,‭ ‬amazed and mute.‭  ‬There was nothing else‭; ‬no sound,‭ ‬no movement.‭  ‬Their view reached to tomorrow’s sunrise,‭ ‬but did not include a road,‭ ‬or even a trail.‭  ‬Hillary began to focus.‭  ‬An eagle drifted below their feet.
‭“‬I want to tuck you under my arm and fly,‭” ‬Voerst said.‭  “‬To soar with that bird,‭ ‬Divina.‭”


“Like Superman‭?”


“Like Zarathustra,‭ ‬the übermensch.‭”


Hillary laughed and leaned against his warmth,‭ ‬hungry.‭  ‬They were silent.


‭“‬It’s time we dressed for dinner,‭” ‬he finally said.


She felt the pulse of his heart against her cheek.‭  “‬I’d rather go flying.‭”


They found the earlier trail and returned to the mine with Lout.

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